During the summer months in the US, many of us look forward to dazzling fireworks displays. But not all fireworks are cause for celebration, especially when they occur in your workplace! Heated conflicts with colleagues can create a tense atmosphere, disrupting your productivity and affecting overall morale.
Just like a well-executed fireworks display requires careful planning and control, you'll need to manage workplace conflicts with a thoughtful approach. Whether you're dealing with a sudden outburst or a simmering feud, knowing how to handle these situations with grace and professionalism can keep yourself and others safe in the workplace.
Tips for Navigating Angry Coworkers in the Workplace:
Start with spark control and regulate your response: When someone else blows up in your workplace you may feel the need to speak up, defend yourself or others, or even just ignore the situation in hopes it will go away. Your actions can add fuel to the fire when someone is already burning, so before reacting, taking a moment to notice how you feel can help you make sure you don't contribute to making an even worse situation. If you're upset, try calming techniques like deep breathing, using a physical action like touching a piece of jewelry to ground your thoughts, or changing your posture to move tightening muscles. These small actions can give you the precious minutes you need to help yourself not instantly go into fight or flight mode and react without thinking.
Draw the line with boundaries: Once you've been able to regulate your emotions, you'll have a chance to respond and set boundaries. If you are in a one on one setting you can absolutely politely excuse yourself from heated exchanges or small talk. Keep conversations professional and directly tell the person what you're uncomfortable with. For example, you can say, "Please don't raise your voice at me. I'm going to go back to my seat to give us both a minute." or "I'm not feeling comfortable with the way this discussion is going. I'm going to excuse myself and we can pick this up again when we've both had some time." If you are in a situation where you can't leave, like a large meeting, you can speak up to set a boundary for the group. For example, you can say, "We may not be able to come to a conclusion right now. Can we please take a break from this topic and revisit later when we've all had a minute to ourselves?"
Open up firework-free dialogues: After you've set some boundaries and gotten some space, you likely will need to revisit the original topic that started the fireworks. Find a time and space for the conversation that will be comfortable for everyone and make it clear you aren't going to punish or fight with the angry colleague. When you do have that discussion, be ready to listen. Let them know you want to work together to find a solution that extinguishes the conflict.
Let them know you are seeing the flames: In follow up conversations, give your colleague some room to share and let them express their concerns. You can open up the conversation by saying " I know when we spoke earlier things were getting heated. I'd love to start that conversation again and start with what you wanted to share." Give them some space and try to see things from their perspective. Often a colleague that blows up has a legitimate reason for their feelings but may have been struggling with feeling unheard or not knowing how to get attention for their ideas. Allowing them room to share can be a valuable tool to make space for them while also maintaining some control of the conversation.
Call in the Firefighters: If the conflict continues, is harming productivity, or is making you or others feel unsafe in your workplace then it's time to speak up. Share the situation with your manager, an HR team member, or another leader in your organization that you trust. Be clear in what you are asking them to do. You can ask them to join in a future meeting, mediate the situation 1:1, speak with your colleague, or start a formal investigation about their behavior. You don't need to fight any fires that pop up alone, so ask for help when you need it!
Additional Tips:
Stay Neutral: Avoid taking sides in conflicts between coworkers. Aim to be a calming presence that helps defuse tensions.
Fire Drill: Establish clear communication channels and conflict resolution protocols within your team. Regularly check in with your colleagues or encourage your manager to address any brewing issues before they explode.
Celebrate Together: Support a culture of appreciation and recognition. Celebrating small wins and positive behavior can reduce overall tension and improve team dynamics.
Post-Fireworks Analysis: After a conflict has been resolved, take time to reflect on what happened and what you could do differently next time. Use these insights to improve your conflict management skills.
Be a Firework Buddy: We all occasionally need someone to talk to. Offer a listening ear and support colleagues who may be struggling with stress or personal issues.
By following these tips, you'll be equipped to navigate any "fireworks" in your workplace and support a productive and safe work environment.
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Brittany Bishop is a Leadership & Resilience Coach, helping professionals navigate through challenging career moments, partnering with them to come out the other side with clarity, confidence, and purpose. Sign up for the weekly newsletter for announcements of new blog posts and career tips.